


Vergissmeinnicht

by United



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amnesia, Angst, Assisted Suicide, Banter, Ben just wants to be a nurse, Fluff, Force Ghosts, Good Lord, Hallucinations, Humor, Hux comes back from the dead to kick Ben's arse (out of the closet), Hux is a good boyfriend, I had my english teacher beta this I can't believe myself, M/M, Phasma Is Awesome, Phasma appreciation, Snoke is a motherfuck, Spoiler: Cancer, Swearing, except when he's not, kinda a detective story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-16 21:26:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5841586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/United/pseuds/United
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Ben Solo has three things that keep him up at night:<br/>A job as a nurse he loves, a past he can't entirely remember and a dead (boy?!)friend that has decided to haunt his sorry arse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vergissmeinnicht

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't have anything to defend myself with. So go ahead. I hope to god I will finish this because this is killing me.

There's a crunching, a wet sound, a little like skin on skin, a little like brittle bones breaking beneath his hands, he thinks as he enters his home. It takes him a while to come back to himself, to really register the meaning of the noise coming from his living room.   
There's someone in his flat.   
Indignation and anger floods him like a tidal wave. He takes a deep breath as he automatically reaches for the baseball bat leaning against the wall beside the front door.   
Whoever is stupid enough to dare break into his goddamn flat is in for a rather unpleasant surprise, contemplates as he bares his teeth in a mock-smile.  
Instead the bat falls from his limp fingers as soon as he enters the living room.   
For a second the thud of the polished wood connecting with the carpet mixes with the sound of an apple slowly disappearing between the ginger's lips.

There's a man sitting on his couch, no, there's a man draped all over his couch in complete relaxation.  
He's watching him through his light eyelashes with mild interest, like a big lazy cat might observe the resident budgie playing.   
“You're dead.”, he tells the ginger matter-of-factly.  
The ginger shrugs, doesn't even stop eating his apple and the juice trickles down his jaw, making it glisten.   
“Being dead is relative.”, says the ginger, lifting the apple from his mouth for a second.   
“There are more interesting things to wonder about than the question if I'm dead. I'd hoped for example that you'd gotten a grip on your anger issues by now, but all for naught. Storming in here like an angry god in all your I-haven't-showered-in-two-days glory, don't you have any idea how absolutely ridiculous you look, Ren?”  
It's a knee-jerk reaction, repeating words he hasn't uttered for over two years, familiar dust on his tongue.   
“Fuck off, Hux!”

Hux arches an eyebrow and suddenly the surrealism of the situation hits him a teeth-rattling blow right to the chest.   
He's standing in his living room after an 18-hour shift, it's arse-o'clock in the morning and he's talking to a dead man, who's calling him by a name that hasn't been his for years.   
Feeling a thousand years old, he scrubs with his hand through his hair, making the greasy strands stand up on all ends and huffs out a dry laugh.  
“Shouldn't have had that sixth cup of coffee.”, he says to himself quietly.

He wants to rub his eyes, make the strange apparition go away. He at least should turn his back on it and ignore this figment of his imagination.  
However he does none of these things.   
It's a guilty pleasure, he knows encouraging this won't exactly increase his mental stability, but when do you get to see the dead again, not on photos or vague memories, but in bright daylight?  
Because bright it is, the light falling in through the windows. The sun's went up during the conversation he had with himself.   
He looks his fill shamelessly, enjoying how the light makes Hux neatly parted hair look like a tiny sun itself, an unforgiving splash of color in his otherwise bleak flat.   
Hux is staring back at him uninhibitedly, while having gone back to eating his apple. 

When Hux's finished he throws the rest onto the side table, detangles his legs and sits up straight.  
He knows this isn't real, but he feels himself go a little cold all over, as Hux turns his burning attention completely onto him, examing him with both cold calculation and a glimpse of emotion in the eyes.   
It's nothing but a shadow of the well and truly scary man and his razor-sharp scrutiny that he knew, but it feels very fucking real to him right now.   
“You're not going to make this easy for any of us two, are you?”, Hux murmurs more to himself.   
He lifts himself off the couch abruptly, gives him a curt nod, “Ren.” and nearly flies out of the room, displaying the same grace he had while he was still alive.   
Ben even hears the door fall shut behind him. 

He stands there for four more minutes in the middle of his tiny flat, staring at nothing but air.   
The he does the only sane thing he can think of right now, peels his hospital slacks of his weary body, falls into bed and sleeps for twelve hours straight.   
When he wakes up, the apple core on his side table is gone.

**Author's Note:**

> [Cries in Spanish]


End file.
